How to Have a Threesome
Todays post comes from my friend Alex May. Alex has launched an amazing mastermindgroup that you can be a part of (no matter where you live!) that will help you become a true masterful lover, and I cannot recommend it enough! If you’re interested, get in touch with Alex here.
Here’s his article on how to set up threesomes:
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How will you benefit from this article? Simple. After reading it, you will be able to have threesomes. Read it, take the right action, and enjoy the results. Life is beautiful.
Sounds like a good deal? Let’s go.
Actually, whether you suspected it or not, many times in your life you were just a few words/sentences/moments away from having a threesome.
If you would have known WHAT to say at the right moment – you could have gotten it.
However, before you were blind. From now on – you will be able to SEE J
BRINGING UP THE SUBJECT OF A THREESOME
First, how do you bring up the subject of a threesome? Simple.
As any female reader knows (and male ones will learn in a few moments) – ALL women have bisexual tendencies.
This is a fascinating subject and I go in depth into it during my Sexual Mastery Seminar.
In short, what you have to know is this: All Women Are Bisexual. (Well, almost.)
Knowing that at least 70% of women from time to time dream of at least SOME intimate play with other women, you will present this as a fulfilling of HER dream.
Important note: Do not use the words “bisexual” or even mention bisexuality when you talk to your partner. In modern society, this word has too much of a negative connotation. (I also explain this stuff about negative social programming and about the “Matrix” and how it influences male-female dynamics during my seminar.)
Back to the subject now. Find out if your woman ever had such desires. Be cool.
Example: “I just learned that many women are actually erotically attracted to other women,” may be a good beginning. Do not be bounded to this phrase, though. Depending on your maturity and on how long two of you know each other – you can easily find an appropriate way to introduce the subject. Do not be overexcited. Just be cool and curious.
Here is the gold:
The key in knowing how to have a threesome is your mindset – you are doing it FOR HER. And in fact – you should be! Do not push too hard or be over-reactive if she responds positively. Communicate that you are open-minded enough to allow her fantasy to come true for her.
Realize that if you propose things from a wrong angle – your woman’s first thought will be, “Ouch, I am not good enough for him any more!” She will start doubting herself, become jealous, etc.
These are absolutely logical and understandable consequences. And they are totally inappropriate here. So do not make an ass of yourself.
HEARING HER ANSWER
Threesome will be another way to increase your MUTUAL happiness and fulfillment. Learning how to have a threesome means also learning to listen.
Therefore, be respectful towards her answer. If she says “No” or indicates that this subject never came to her mind and she is NOT into women – respect it and NEVER bring this subject up again.
If she expresses any interest towards the idea of a threesome – you will often hear that she wanted to try but was afraid to get one-on-one in bed with another girl.
This implies that if a man (this time it’s YOU, brother) would be next to her in bed – she would feel much better and at ease. She might be willing then to give it a try. Understand this point and take on a role of a GUIDE.
Become who you actually were destined to be – an EXPERIENCED and KNOWLEDGEBLE lover. The one who will take her by the hand and LEAD towards fulfillment of her hidden desires.
Important note: If she says “Yes” just for you – better discontinue the subject. This is another secret of knowing how to have a threesome. She should be excited and looking forward to this new intimate experience. Do not go for it if she does it only to please you. This will bring various negative issues into your relationship later on.
HOW TO BEHAVE WHEN SHE AGREES
- Do not become over-excited. Stay cool. Behave as if this is most usual happening. After all – you are doing it FOR HER. Don’t worry, both of you understand that YOU are also going to enjoy the experience.
- Do not stay on the subject too long.
- Do not talk about other women too much. This makes your woman feel uncomfortable. Be cool. Concentrate on HER. She is your Princess, right? Other girls are there only to ADD some bits and pieces to your mutual happiness.
SETTING UP THE RULES OF YOUR THREESOME
Find out HOW she wants your threesome to take place. Does she want to play with another girl and you are only supposed to watch? What are YOU allowed to do? Is it OK if you will do things with another girl too? How far can you go? Petting? Kissing? Penetration?
Learning how to have a threesome includes learning the importance of communication.
- Express your own ideas but – first of all – be considerate. Listen. Remember, the right mindset – you are doing the whole thing for HER.
Realize that if your first threesome goes well – you will have plenty of opportunities to expand your freedom of action in the future. But if it goes wrong – there might be no second chance for you.
Therefore, stay in control but show some flexibility and obey the rules when it comes to action.
- Knowing how to have a threesome also means paying attention to health and safety! Use condoms with your new girl. Take time and educate yourself about risks and health guidelines when it comes to threesomes. Learn the safety rules with regard to sexual play between two girls.
- Let the third person know that both of you practice safe sex. Better, do it in advance to avoid any misunderstandings.
All the above is very important info! Ignorance here may cost you your relationship. Period.
CHOOSING THE RIGHT PERSON FOR THREESOME
Once you both agree on the rules, you can start choosing the right person for your threesome. This is an easy part. There are plenty of options to choose from.
- You can go about it the same way a single guy would go looking for a girl. Clubs, bars, all sorts of private parties are excellent places to go looking for a new girl. Try different approaches.
For example, being direct and honest works fine for me. When one of my girlfriends sees someone she likes – I just approach that person and simply tell her WHY I am here tonight and that my girlfriend finds her attractive. I introduce ladies to each other right after that and we take things from there.
- Another way I often meet new playmates is this: my girlfriends like to chat up other girls. Since it is very easy for two girls to establish initial connection – they can bring up the subject of kissing each other, playing with other women, or simply “being into girls” quickly and easily.
That “sexy” talk may happen either before or after my girlfriends introduce those women to me. After that – everything depends on circumstances and calibration. Both things will come to you with time and experience.
- Trust your girl’s intuition. they might instinctively know how to have a threesome than you do sometimes.
- If you are in the beginning of your path – you may want something safer and simpler. In such case, your woman may already have an idea of someone in her social circle that she likes.
Be careful with your close social circle though! Keep your new project away from your friends – at least in the beginning.
HOW TO BEHAVE AFTER THE THREESOME
- Do not bring up another woman repeatedly after the threesome. This will hurt your partner’s feelings.
- Right frame of thinking: this was something you both shared and enjoyed. Any time you speak about that special experience after it took place – you both feel closer and more intimate.
- Discuss your experience. Find out how she felt during the threesome. How she feels afterwards. Change the rules if necessary.
Bottom line: enjoy, cherish, celebrate, and live a LIFE together!
Tj Guttormsen is a Norwegian lifestyle- and attraction coach. He runs 
aldri prøvd,selv om lysten har vært der…som samboer ville jeg hatt et problem med å dele mannen med en annen dame,men der kommer jo grensene inn.
som singel kan jeg jo gjøre hva jeg vil,men enda har jeg ikke funnet noen som frister:)
Very well written article! I was interested in the mastermind group, but I just can’t afford it now.
I just wonder: How possible is it to meet one of the opposite sex one night, and another one the next, and then get going into a threesome the night afterwards? How do you THEN focus on the two girls, now that you aren’t in a relationship in the first place?
I will probably never do that, because I think I have to know the girls better for a threesome. But me and some friends find the IDEA of “one-night-threesome”, very thrilling.
Are we nuts? What do you people think of the subject?
I’ll be honest: This is not in any way something that I specialize in.
But here’s what I would do: I would build it up as a three-way seduction. I would build it up to be about BOTH girls, and not about me. It’s not supposed to be my fantasy, but theirs. I might, for example, introduce the idea by telling both girls that a girlfriend of mine saw them (a picture of them, or whatever) and was interested. From there you can set up a meeting for all three, perhaps at a bar close to your home or similar (or even at your place if they’re comfortable enough with the idea), share a bottle of wine and escalate from there.
My two cents, but I’ll see if I can get a hold of Alex and ask him to answer this comment as well as he has more experience with this particular thing than I do
Yes, i agree with TJ. This is one of the ways to do it.
My article was written for people who are – at least – in “a kind of” relationhsip before they bring the 3rd person in.
Your question here is about dynamics between 3 people who hardly know each other. In such case you obviously don’t have to pay so much attention to one of your girls. 50-50 will be a fair deal.
However, be aware, as the case might be – one of those 2 girls will not be so much interested in you. She might be willing to discover intimacy with another girl. And your presence is only an excuse for her – so she does not feel herself a lesbian.
There is a stigma in our society around bisexuality and being lesbo. Total BS for you and me but serious stuff for HER.
Or may be even BOTH girls won’t be so much interested in you. So… what do you do? Relax and enjoy the ride.
50-50 is a fair deal. If you notice that one is less interested in you than the other – make it 60-40 or even 80-20.
Do not try to lead too much – just sometime give general directions to the flow.
Hope this clarifies things.
P.S. Actually, it just occured to me to make a separate seminar or even better… practical workshop on threesomes… Cool
Thanks for the answers on this, guys!
TJ: you really got my brain begin planning that meeting now! It’s crazy for sure, but how fun hadn’t it been to make this approach and state of mind a simple thing?
I am not ready for this yet, but this isn’t impossible before I’ve tested, and can prove otherwise.
The important thing here is of course to make sure all three really wants it (honesty and authenticy), in addition to make sure it’s non-drama proof within all three persons’ social circles.
Alex: Thank you for the great answer! Will think of the focus balancing, and your view of this when the future me tests this out!
In the name of the “one-night-threesomes”, I got some questions that follows my line of thoughts in the comments above. I invite everyone that reads this to answer them, not just Alexor TJ
1. When I don’t know the girls so much, are their interest for exploring intimacy with another girl higher than if I had known them better? Why/why not?
2. Can their absence of feelings for me, be a positive thing for me to get the two girls easier attracted to each other?
- I think yes, because they then easier can let loose. What do you think?
3. What are the advantages to not have feelings involved while doing a threesome?
- One advantage is the excitement of having sex with girls you don’t know (yet).
- The disadvantages I think of here and now: You can’t trust 2 persons much after just a few meetings. You risk some drama if one of the girls had a bad experience, and tell her friends about it. You don’t have much romantic feelings during the act.
What do you think?
>> P.S. Actually, it just occured to me to make a separate seminar or even
>> better… practical workshop on threesomes… Cool
Cool indeed! I’ll attend if I got money and time. Don’t know if it did, but it warms my heart if my post got you that idea!
Great article! My wife and I have though about it many times, but we really dont know to start? Its always been a fantasy of mine and I dont know if she’s really into it or just going with the flow. I had dropped the subject long time ago, and one day we we’re having sex when she started describing me a threesome with me and her and of course another woman. It was insane, I had a really good time, but I don’t know why she did it? I asked her and she said that it made her reached her orgasam and that she was just experimenting. You think that I might be able to persuade her to do it?
Hey Carlos, thanx for great question!
You can do exactly as article above advices and see what her reaction will be.
“Persuade her” may not exactly the way you want to use. “Helping her to discover her hidden desires and to open up more” is a way here.
If she says “yes” and you still have some doubts – give new girl only 5% of your attention. In fact, your biggest challenge will be to keep your hands away from the 2nd girl for the whole time
But since you will be doing it all for your GF and NOT for yourself that kind of behavior will be understandable.
After the first time you will have a talk and discuss her feelings. Much depends on how honest you are with each other.
If she dislikes the experience – you will not repeat it. If yes – you can do it again but repeat the same behavior from your side. After 2-3 times she will get used to this new situation and you will be able to start giving the 2nd girl a bit more attention.
This kind of doubts on your side are totally understandable.
They are very difficult to be proven right or wrong theoretically (i mean before you actually try) because woman lives in the moment and can never exactly predict her own reaction to threesome situation.
Hope this helps. Good luck!
“ALL women have bisexual tendencies”
I would say that many and maybe even most do to some extent… but all? No way.