An impressive life..

June 15, 2010

By Tj Guttormsen

“Well, of course it’s easy for you! You’ve had such an amazing life, who wouldn’t want to be a part of it?” One of my clients made this comment a little while back, and this is what I told him:

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From the age of 15 or so I travelled the country pretty much on my own, or with a couple of friends my age, to compete in judo-competitions. I wasn’t just good at it, I was usually the best. I’ve won every single northern-Norwegian championship I’ve competed in, I’ve won several major national championships, and I’ve been the Norwegian Cup champion in the toughest class for my agegroup there was. The coach for the national team begged me to move down south, but I chose to do things on my own, because it was more fun.

At 18 I moved to Miami, stole the girl that half the football-squad wanted to be with. I’ve lived in Daytona Beach where I met Justin Timberlake, hung out in the pits at a major car-races (and I actually hate to watch racing), lounged at the beach and lived in a house with 14 beds, a pooltable, a pool, a jacuzzi and pretty much every other luxury you can think of short of a private massuse and butler.

I’ve been to Afghanistan during wartime to do volunteer work, completely on my own as one of the very few western civilians in the country at the time. I’ve been to the house of one of the Afghani religious leaders for dinner, and been accepted as family by him and his peers. I’ve been held at gunpoint by private securityguards, been awoken by a missile attack just down the street from my house, been detained by military personell (both Afghani and German) and ridden through the streets of Kabul on a motorcycle.

I’ve quit my job, moved out of my apartment and travelled all over Asia with nothing but a backpack and my passport, just because I felt like it. Spent time in a small village in Laos where I was not only the only white person, but the only English-speaking one within miles. I’ve gotten lost in a jungle in Malaysia, and one in Thailand – rescued by pure luck, and a dog. I’ve been to Cambodias first go-go bar, owned and run by russian mafia, with an American from the peace-core and a horny 45 year old german. I’ve hiked on mountains in Malaysia, scubadived with sharks and turtles under the stars in Indonesia, bungee-jumped in Thailand, gotten lost on the streets of Islamabad in Pakistan and partied with ten thousands of people on a beach to mention a few events.

I’ve written articles that have been read by tens of thousands of people, and I’ve done interviews for major newspapers, radio and TV on subjects regarding seduction, sexuality and women. I run my own company and less than a year after starting it I started making more money than I ever expected to, and through my work I’ve changed hundreds of lives all over the world.

Are these things the reasons why people find me attractive? Is this why I’m so successful in my interactions with others? Is this why I can live my life the way I do?

No.

In fact, I hardly ever mention any of these things when I meet new people. I actually never speak of them unless asked, and even then I try to keep it brief.

My experiences do not define me – my actions do.

I’m willing to bet my skin that most people I’ve gotten to know over the last six months or so know little or nothing about most of the things that I’ve mentioned in this article, simply because they haven’t had the time to ask yet, and I have no need to tell them. For all they know, I’ve spent my life doing absolutely nothing.

My success does not come from being impressive. My success comes from being interesting to other people – and more importantly, interested IN other people.

Don’t rely on your ability to impress, it is a fleeting and unreliable ability that will weaken every time you tell or show someone something impressive. Being interesting on the other hand, is consistent – no matter how long you’ve known someone.

Focus on your interest and curiosity in others, forget about your own story unless they ask, and the rest will take care of itself.

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My client nodded in agreement, and suddenly realized that he was actually an interesting guy himself now that he thought about it..