Creating Attraction Within Yourself.
”Attraction is not a choice,” says world-famous pick-up guru David DeAngelo. Well, I think he’s wrong. At least partly. But before you start throwing chairs at me for disagreeing with this “truth” that so many people live by, read on and let me explain what I mean.
Attraction is a mixture of several subsets of emotions. Or to put it in another way: You need to experience several emotions around someone to feel attracted to them. Typical emotions needed are rapport (the feeling of knowing or having something in common), comfort (being [at least somewhat] comfortable around them), excitement and sexual tension. Feel free to throw in other emotions as well, in my case, curiosity and happiness also comes into play more often than not, but I think you get my drift.
So let’s say that there is someone in your life that you feel comfortable with, who makes you happy and who you have no problems communicating with. This person therefore gives you at least two or three of the typical emotions needed to spark attraction, the final two (in this example) being excitement and sexual tension. In most cases when this happens, we put that person into the “friend zone”, a desolate wasteland where all (s)he can hope for is to spend time with you as friends. But let’s say you have some reason to want to explore your relationship with this person further, take it to a deeper level so to speak. How can you create that extra spark of attraction within yourself that will make doing so a great experience?
Well, any (good) hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner or attraction coach can tell you that there are many ways to anchor feelings to yourself and bring them out whenever you want, but I’m going to offer you a simple exercise that you can do completely on your own, without the help of a coach. An exercise that can help you spark attraction within yourself in those relationships where you think it would be worthwhile.
Sparking Internal Attraction:
Sit or lie down somewhere comfortable. Make sure there are no distractions around. Relax your muscles from the tip of your toes to the top of your head. Breathe deeply. Smile.
Think back to the last time you felt that incredible feeling of excitement and attraction. Think back to that person that made your tummy fill up with butterflies, your cheeks flush and your heart pound hard. See what you saw, feel what you felt, and hear what you heard. Let the feeling (s)he created fill your entire body from top to toe. Really get into it. Allow yourself to feel that attraction as strongly as possible until your entire body tingle.
Now move away from thoughts of that person, and think about just the feeling you’re experiencing. Feel your body and figure out just where these feelings of excitement, sexual tension – attraction, lie.
Is it in your stomach? In your chest? In your entire body?
Now, notice what it feels like. Is it a tickling sensation, a warm sensation, a throbbing feeling?
When you’ve got it all figured out, in such a way that you could actually describe to me what you feel and where you feel it, you’re where you should be in this exercise. You now know what attraction feels like to you, and you can use this to bring it into your mind any time you’d like.
So the very next time you think about this person that you’d like to be more attracted to, let your body bring back that same emotion that you just experienced. In fact, do it right now. Think of that person while you focus on keeping this feeling of attraction inside of you. See his/her face in front of you, and let the feeling you just created fill the air around you. Do this every time you think of him/her. The more you do it, the easier it will be to bring the feeling of attraction into your life on a daily basis, and to anchor it to anyone you’d like.
The next time you talk to this person, bring out this feeling inside of you. It is already anchored to the thought of him/her, now all you need to do is anchor it to his/her presence. Before you know it, you’ll have realized just how attractive this friend is to you, and a new, amazing relationship can start to develop.
It’s all in your mind, and mind and body is one system that can influence each other equally.
“Why would I want to create attraction for someone I’m not attracted to” you ask? Well, I can’t answer that for you. I just wanted to show you how simple it is to create attraction within yourself. And who knows, maybe you’ll figure out how to create it within others too if you get good at this exercise? 
~ TJ ~
Tj Guttormsen is a Norwegian lifestyle- and attraction coach. He runs 
“Why would I want to create attraction for someone I’m not attracted to?”
That’s an easy one. One of my female friends (finally, a decent translation of ‘venninne’!) recently told about this guy she’s seeing. She said he was a really great guy, but that the spark (always the spark…) was missing. Afterwards she went on telling me about the trouble she’s having finding a guy she really likes. You’ve got the answer to her problems, haven’t you?
By the way, I just read “Double Your Dating” and I wasn’t exactly impressed. One of DeAngelo’s recurring point is ways of making girls feel insecure. To me, his game just seems like a slightly more sophisticated version of Mystery Method.
That is one of several perfectly valid reasons for wanting to do this. You should show your friend this blogpost and have her get in touch with me if she has any questions (or better yet, ask them in this comment-section;).
And yes, I much prefer the Playful & Confident method (which we teach at The Worthy Playboy Institute – http://www.worthyplayboys.com – and at Genuine Connections) to David D.s cocky/funny approach
Det der virker som fryktelig mye arbeid for noe som ofte kommer helt av seg selv… Men så har jeg ikke noe problemer på det området heller
For de som derimot har problemer med slikt. Hvordan skal de få til visualiseringen i utganspunktet? Du forutsetter jo at en har vært svært tiltrukket av en person tidligere. Eller er det myntet på personer som konsekvent er tiltrukket av mnnesker utenfor sin rekkevidde? For utenom disse tilfellene ser jeg ikke helt behovet. Kan jo ikke gå rundt å være tiltrukket av alle!
he he
Jeg vil tro (håper i hvert fall) at det er særdeles få der ute som aldri har opplevd å være tiltrukket til noen. I så fall har de større problemer enn det som adresseres her
Og nei, poenget er hverken at man skal være tiltrukket av alle, eller at man ikke skal la det komme av seg selv der hvor det gjøre det. Det er bare en øvelse i å bringe frem de følelsene du selv ønsker i de situasjonene du vil ha dem. Grunnen til at jeg valgte nettopp attraksjon i denne posten fremfor f.eks. glede, er rett og slett for å vise hvor lett man aktivt kan skape attraksjon i seg selv
Og jeg ser ikke for meg at du har noen problemer med noen av delene nei
Aha!
Glede ville gitt mye mer mening for meg hvertfall
Attraksjon føler jeg mer enn nok av fra før… Om det er skapt aktivt eller passivt har jeg ikke tenkt over i grunnen.
Litt av begge delene mistenker jeg
He he, du skal ikke se bort i fra det nei
This is very similar to Paul McKenna’s hypnotic trance tape. I’ve listened to it, and I’ve experienced the same feeling that you’re describing in this post. And it really helps:)
det har seg slik at for en uke tilbake så satt jeg på et kontor,hvilket er ikke så viktig men mannen som var på kontoret sammen med meg hadde jeg sett før,flere ganger,jeg liker utsendet hans og jeg liker det at han er veldig kos å prate med…han virket ikke uinteresert heller men hva vet jeg.
men iallefall,jeg fant meg selv plutselig sittende fantasere om hvordan vi hadde det sexuelt,jeg kunne formelig kjenner det og jeg bråvåkna og var kjempeflau,for var jo overklar…goch håper han ikke merket det:)
Uansett plutselig finner jeg meg selv en helt annen plass,jeg lover jeg har aldri hatt sexuelle tanker om han før,da jeg har sett på han som opptatt noe han ikke er trur jeg
men dette funker,men spørs mer på lang sikt da,og om dette er noe man bør følge,det er faktisk noen man ikke bør gå etter:)
“Don’t dip your pen in the company’s ink.” Var en leveregel jeg og min tidligere kollega hadde når vi var sjef for en avdeling sammen. Han klarte det ikke riktig like bra som meg, men jeg står fremdeles på at det var det riktige å gjøre for min del
hehe hvor man dypper hva er vel ikke altid så enkelt å vite for poff så befinner man seg en plass man aldri trudde man skulle være:)
men klart litt motstandskraft har man jo;)
Ja det får man håpe